Chance Encounters
There are moments in our lives when we realize that there is someone or something greater out there that has things planned for us. What we seem to think of as "chance" encounters might actually be planned events leading to something else. Perhaps I am reading way into things, but today I experienced one of those chance encounters.
At our school carnival, teachers can sign up to have a student win a day with them. Mrs. Fischer and I always plan a movie outing trip. This year my other teaching partner also got involved. Originally we had planned to go to see the 3D version of Up (everything is in 3D these days) this past Tuesday. Well, one of the kiddos couldn't make it that day. We changed our plans and made it on Thursday. Turns out Lucia's student couldn't make it that day so she's going to take him on some other day and time. Well, today was our day. One of my previous student, Michelle, had won the day with me (lucky girl), but she told me she had already seen the movie. She still wanted to go and see it again so I told her I'd take her to lunch for being such a good sport. I picked her up at 12:00 because our movie showing was at 2:00. I figured we could do a little shopping in between. We finished eating around 1:00 and went to buy our tickets. Low and behold, there was no 2:00 showing. I frantically called up Nancy to let her know. At first she didn't believe me because she had been checking the paper every day this week. What she had forgotten (even though I did remind her earlier) is that the theater will change the movie times every 2 weeks (the only reason I know this is because I've done movie field trips and they are very hard to plan). So the next showing wasn't going to be until 4:10. Even though the title is "Win a day with the teacher", hanging out with a student for that long is a little too much. So Nancy checked the times at the other theater at the Gateway Mall. Turned out they had a showing at 1:45 that we decided to try it out. All in all, everything turned out fine. She made it with the other girls right on time.
During our hang out time, Michelle had shown me some monkeys she had gotten at the Gateway Mall. We were going to go before the movie to get more, but decided we should save seats instead. After the movie we said "bye" to Mrs. Fischer and the other girls and we were headed to the other side of the mall to get monkeys. Instead, Michelle got sidetracked and saw the candy vending machines and wanted Mike and Ikes more than monkeys. While I was feeding her quarters and she was collecting her rainbow goodness I happened to look up. Right in front of me was my ex's mother and all of his kids.
Now, think about this. If we hadn't changed the date, if the movie times weren't switched on a Thursday, if Michelle and I hadn't gotten to the first theater early, if Michelle hadn't forgotten to take monkeys out of her pants, if she didn't mention where she got the monkeys, if we had gotten to the other theater earlier, if Michelle hadn't been distracted by candy, if the vending machine wasn't on the other side of the hall, and if I hadn't of looked up then I might have never seen them.
Seeing them was so surreal for me. There's a history there, with not a lot of good feelings or history, and definitely not a good ending. My ex and I met when I was in my senior year of colleg. He and I both worked on campus and I liked him from the moment I saw him. He use to give me butterflies just seeing him, even though I knew nothing about him. Soon I became fixated on the image of what I thought he was like and all of that. I'd run into him every day and everyone around us knew I had a crush on him, even he knew. But we never really talked. It was love from a distance for a long time (I think almost a year). Then one random night we did meet and started dating. It went well the first 2 days we dated (seriously I think it was 2 days), but his life was complicated. He was the same age as me, but he had twin girls when he was 16. He had also been married and divorced and bankrupt before (yes, I really know how to pick them). Needless to say, he had a lot of emotional baggage. We tried, I was way busy with school but when I had free time I would be with him. He had his girls sometimes and I took them on a couple of play dates. Then one day I was over at his house and we were getting ready to watch a movie. I even remember what we had that day: Smartfood popcorn, wine, and beef jerkey. Then there was a knock on the door and it was his ex wife. He stepped outside and was talking with her. I could only hear bits and pieces of what they were saying. They were arguing about money, the girls, her being pregnant, etc. I remember thinking that I should let them come inside because it was raining outside. I walked out and said they should go inside because it sounded like there were a lot of things they needed to talk about and I was going to go home. I left, a little curious about the pregnancy comment, and headed for home. He called an hour after I got home and asked me what I heard. I told him. I remember how dumb I must of sounded when I said, "I heard she said she was pregnant. Who's the father?". Of course, you probably know the answer. Oh it was awful. Finding out that I was cheated on and that he was going to be having another child. He said he still wanted to be together (go figure). I wish I could say that things ended that night but they didn't. Things only got worse because Steve couldn't handle all the lies he was telling so he began drinking more which lead to his depression and then all of his suicide attempts, which ended up keeping me in the relationship longer and longer.
There's more to the story, but I have to stop somewhere. Needless to say he's a big part of my past but he's someone I have recently pushed out of my memory. Upon seeing his kids, especially the youngest, was like a flood gate opening. Memory intertwined with memory, feelings from the past, all of it was shocking. One of his girls was even starring at me as they walked past as if she recognized me. I don't know if she really could because they were so young when I saw them, but maybe. It's been 5 years since he, or they, have been a part of my life. Oops... I also forgot to tell you one more minor thing... Steve is now in jail. He ended up getting into cocaine (not while we were together) and tried shooting at his wife and then threatened to kill his kids. He was arrested last summer and he'll be serving 7 more years in jail.
Perhaps I was meant to see all of them. To remind myself how far I've come. How that life, his life, could have been mine and that I'm in a better place. With a better person. As I walked into my house, the one I love so much, I really realized how lucky I am. That I needed to go through all that drama and heartache to get me to where I am now. Perhaps... or perhaps it was just a chance encounter.
